my playlist

Thursday, December 29, 2011

i'm a bookworm

in my 21 years of living, i've done lots of thing. but the thing that i love the most is to read.
even since i can read, i read everything, everywhere, anytime. sometimes a just rummage my parents old newspaper to read coz i need to read. it's like a addiction. if a saw a book, but didn't read it. i have this sort of regret feeling. like i was missing something. and naturally i will try to get my hand on it.

now i have found new source to read, ebook. face it, here in malaysia it's hard to find a good book unless you're willing to have it shipped here. the libraries are limited. limited source, limited time, limited everything.

in between reading i've commit to few things as hobbies but nothing was as appealing as reading. even i become a bit selective when watched movies (2nd hobby). nowadays i prefer book based movies coz it was much more appealing. other than that, i hunted indie movies coz it was out of the box.

so yeah, i am a book worm

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

persoalanku terjawab

soalan: adakah serigala haram seperti anjing?

Serigala dalam bahasa Arab disebut al-Zi’bu (الذئب). Ia adalah binatang yang wujud pada zaman Nabi –sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam- dan baginda pernah menyebut tentangnya di dalam beberapa hadis yang diriwayatkan darinya, namun tidak ada hadis yang menyamakannya dengan anjing dari segi cara menyucikan bekas yang dijilatnya atau najisnya. Oleh demikian, najis serigala tidaklah sama seperti najis anjing. Ia termasuk dalam kategori najis-najis haiwan buas yang lain di mana memadai dengan membasuhnya hingga hilang kesan-kesannya, tidak wajib dibasuh hingga tujuh kali (dengan basuhan pertama dengan air bercampur tanah) kerana ia tidak dianggap anjing.

Kenyataan di atas disokong oleh pandangan Imam al-Jahiz dalam kitabnya al-Hayawan iaitu kitab yang ditulis oleh ulamak silam membicarakan tentang binatang-binatang, tabiatnya dan aspek-aspek lain berkaitan binatang. Menurut beliau; Serigala bukanlah anjing walaupun ada satu dua sifatnya sama. Malah beliau menyebutkan; orang yang menganggap singa, serigala, dubuk dan musang adalah anjing sama seperti orang yang menganggap kerbau adalah kambing biri-biri atau lembu adalah kambing biri-biri. (Kitab al-Hayawan, 2/348).

Wallahu a’lam.


1.Kitab Al-Hayawan, Imam al-Jahiz (Amru bin Bahr al-Kannani, wafat tahun 255 Hijrah), 2/348.
2.Fatawa as-Syabakah al-Islamiyah, no. 7479

sumber dari:

wallahu a'lam, kebanyakan rujukan pun menyatakan penyataan yang lebih kurang sama tp ini adalah yang terbaik. alhamdulillah, sekurang-kurangnya aku x mengagumi haiwan yang najis. yay, go wolf! ^___^

me: so, mom, i've been researching and all, so can i keep a pet wolf. i promise i'll take really good care of it.
mom: ..........  get off the computer! 
me: dad.....
dad: huh, that's cool darling. a wolf in the house. have it your way
me: yay, you're cool dad.
mom: over my dead body
me: why you so against it?
dad:'s cool.
me: see, dad's cool about it.
mom: your dad will let you have any animal but i'm the one taking care of it. both of you need to stop watching animal planet.
me: but you're watching it too.
mom: not crazy enough to keep a wolf in the house.
me: sigh... okay mom.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

book review: willow- julia hoban

it was not up to my expectation. but i enjoy reading it nonetheless. willow was the picture of any teenage angst, thrown with real problems and in real life. however, i believe in cause and effect but i saw less effect in this story only cause. i'll recommend it to female readers though.
a good read for a chick flick

Saturday, December 24, 2011

your side of story..... (cant find much more suitable title)

pretentious people,
false feelings,
fake stories,
lost hope,
exaggerated happiness,
i've seen it all,
and i'll see lots more,
i just don't understand,
never understand,
how could you,
this isn't a game anymore,
i've been in too deep,
i can't play the safe card anymore,
i am no longer the wallflower,
watching on the sidelines,
i've got involved,
and it's sickening,
 now i am in the inner circle,
watching this stupid things revolves,
maybe i've done things that help it revolves
to something much more nasty,
lots of skeleton in the closet will be exposed,
for what price?
your damned pride and side of story,

Sunday, December 11, 2011

book review: looking for alaska - john green

Miles Halter is fascinated by famous last words–and tired of his safe life at home. He leaves for boarding school to seek what the dying poet Francois Rabelais called the “Great Perhaps.” Much awaits Miles at Culver Creek, including Alaska Young. Clever, funny, screwed-up, and dead sexy, Alaska will pull Miles into her labyrinth and catapult him into the Great Perhaps. "

that are just a little insight of the book.  i just had to say, there are more just than one boy meeting one girl which he can't never have.

john green had written this story with light language yet full of emotions. we can almost sense the honesty in his words and really understand what miles must be feeling.

the story divided by before and after of miles adventure in boarding school. 
the before was fun, full of prank and mischief while addressing the teenagers problem like smoking, drug and alcohol  abuse, friendship and love.
the pranks are hilarious, the kinds that make me said "why did i never thought of that in my boarding school days". 
while the teenagers problems are well portrayed that it wasn't exaggerated. it was all in natural balance. in a sense, john green really understand how these problems occurs in teenagers.

the after was depressing and gloomy. i can almost felt all of the character loss. even if it was depressing, i figured out that i refuse to stop reading, not even to wipe my tears. 

the two main characters, miles and colonel are trying to figure out what really happened to alaska. because they were the last ones with alaska when she freaked out. they were the ones who created diversion so that alaska can drive out of the school. they are the ones who let her drive, albeit her drunken state. it went against the rule of friends never let friends drive drunk. most would say their attempt to figure out alaska's death was accident or suicide would say that they only wanted some closure for themselves but i'd say that they not only wanted some closure for themselves but for alaska as well. throughout the story, alaska was mysterious and even her death was  a mystery. a puzzle they have to solve.

however, i was most driven by takumi's confession letter in the last day. in which he was neglected by the two characters in order to figure out character death. in the letter, he confessed that he knew all along why alaska freak out, why she brought the white tulips in her car. why she went straight to alabama. and he (takumi ) too had let her go so he was as much as guilty as the two friends. however, takumi never really reveal that information to miles and colonel, because he was hurt for being left alone in the dark. i think i could relate to his ( takumi) feeling. if i were left alone in the dark by my best friends, i would kept that information secrets too. takumi, however gave a hint of that incident by relating it to the story of alaska best day and worst day game they played in the barn so that miles and colonel would figure that out and find some closure. my heart are for takumi, because he was not that cruel to let his friends in doubt and also his confession are driven by his equally guilty state. i remember in one part, before  he told them about the relating best day worst day game incident, takumi said "we (colonel, miles, takumi) all let her go"

even if was  john green's first book, i like the fresh story line and the quirky quotes especially from all the characters. he depicted the real life teenage problem in a simple yet real way, and also he play the concept of truth and loyalty among friends well that make me adore the colonel character.

i would love to suggest this novel to anyone who are in the hunt of real, fun, emotional-driven novel.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

book review: let the right one in

first romantic horror novel i've ever read. fikiran kne terbuka sikit kalo bace citer ni.
p/s: let me in (movie) adalah adaptasi dari  novel ni.

skang ni da banyak novel2 sal jatuh cintan ngan vampire. yg ni pun adalah salah satu darinya. tp aku suka cerita ni coz ia x stereotype. in which vampirenya bukanlah benda paling cantik dalam dimensi tu and yg jatuh cinta pun bukanlah yang paling cool.

watak utama cerita ini sama macam dalam movie iaitu budak 12 tahun bernama oskar dan eli. novel ini juga ade membangkitkan persoalan-persoalan yang lain seperti masalah buli, ketagihan arak, amalan seks songsang,pedophilia, keruntuhan moral, perpecahan rumah tangga dan juga tekanan. bagi aku novel ni jadi menarik dengan adanya masalah2 manusia betul dalam jalan ceritanya.

diceritakan dalam third point of view, reader boleh mengetahui segala yang difikirkan setiap watak dan tidak berfokus kepada satu watak sahaja. walaupun ini membuatkan cerita mudah difahami ttp aku perasan ia mengurangkan kesan suspens pada cerita.

garapan cerita juga menarik kerana fikiran dan pendapat setiap watak dalam cerita ini adalah bertepatan dan sesuai dengan timelinenya.

anyhow, this is better that twilight in terms of vampiric novels. the fear in oscar after seeing the vampiric side of eli for the first time, eli's fear of ever hurting oscar and also the adults in the whole situation are so much better potrayed in this book. a'd say that twilight series was rather pale in comparison to this novel.

however,  this is just my point of view. here's a little wikipedia quotes about the novel:

"Let the Right One In (Swedish: Låt den rätte komma in), or Let Me In, is a 2004 vampire fiction novel by Swedish writer John Ajvide Lindqvist. The story centers on the relationship between a 12-year-old boy, Oskar, and a centuries-old vampire child, Eli. It takes place in Blackeberg, a working class suburb of Stockholm, in the early 1980s. The book focuses on the darker side of humanity, dealing with issues such as existential anxiety, school bullying, paedophilia and murder.

The book was a bestseller[1] in the author's home country of Sweden and was translated into several languages, including English. A Swedish-language film, Let the Right One In, directed by Tomas Alfredson, was released in 2008 to widespread critical acclaim.[2] An English-language film adaptation (based on the original Swedish screenplay and novel), directed by Matt Reeves, was released on October 1, 2010, titled Let Me In, which was also well-received by critics." 

BTW, novel ini adalah novel translation dari bahasa sweden dan ceritanya berlaku sekitar tahun 1981.

Monday, December 5, 2011

book review: twilight -finished

so i finished twilight. and it took technically weeks which rarely happen to me. i can finished a 200 pages book in one day. i even finoshed two books in between twilight. i guess twilight really wasn't my type.

it's a good story, if you are into star crossed lover. but i am not. i really loved to find some moral or value in a book i read. or something quirky and fun. twilight was lacked in both department.

i read a lot of dramione angst and tragedy fanfictions but not a single scene in twilight made my heart squirmed like dramione fanfictions did. in other words, the tragedy in twilight weren't that much.

the character wasn't much developed. why must all the vampires good looking nad the mere human are not much. i think stephanie meyer loves her vampires a bit too much that she being unfair to other characters. so did bella, she was supposed to be a very independent girl, not a whiny baby.

my verdict: read it at your own risk. or better finished all other books you have then read twilight.

movie review: let me in

ever watch twilight, or read it? i really suggest this film to all the twilight lovers #cough*getalife*cough#.

i personally love this. it was deeper and much more twisted that twilight with real people and real problems.

"cerita ni berkisar kepada owen, seorang budak 12 tahun yang tinggal di satu kawasan kompleks perumahan. ibu bapa owen ni dah nak bercerai so dier ni tinggal la dengan mak dier. oven ni mmg malang giler coz slalu kene buli kat sekolah. kemuadian dia berjumpa dengan abby yang maru berpindah ke kawasan itu dan dari situ mereka mula berkawan. later in the story, owen ajak abby untuk go steady tapi abby kate dier bukan regular girl. namun begitu mereka terus juga jadi steady. tak lama lepas tu, rahsia abby terdedah. dia mengaku pada owen bahawa die adalah vampire. selepas membunuh seoranganggota polis yang menyiasat kejadian kematian 'ayahnya' abby beritahu owen yang die mesti tinggalkan tempat itu. di sekolah, owen cuba dilemaskan oleh salah seorang pelajar yang slalu membulinya namun abby datang dan telah membunuh kesemua empat pelajar itu (dengan ngerinya). babak terakhir menunjukkan owen menaiki kereta api dan membawa sebuah peti. dalam peti itu adalah abby yang bersembunyi. tidak dinyatakan ke mana mereka akan pergi but that's just it."

bagi aku cerita ini lebih kompleks kerana budak2 12 tahun ni tak bercakap pasal ketakutan sama ada dibunuh atau membunuh dan juga bagaiman mereka saling menerima satu sama lain. banyak konflik yan g berlaku antara abby dan owen tetapi mereka tetap berbaik. x pernah sekali pun abby cakap yang dia akan cederakan owen atau owen takut akan abby. bertambah twisted lagi bapa abby adalah kekasihnya yang sama seperti owen, telah menyintai abby sejak dari zaman remajanya.  watak in i menjadi orang yang bartanggungjawab menjaga abby (read: to kill people and get their blood for abby). lelaki ini mati dengan membenarkan abby meminum darahnya sebagai tanda cintanya dan juga kerana dia tidak lagi mampu menjaga abby.

yang manjadikan cerita ini lagi menarik adalah tak banyak dialog meaningless antara abby dan owen. malah tak banyak dialog pun, hnya bahasa tubuh serta jalan cerita ynag jelas menjadi intipati cerita ini.

dicadangkan sebagai salah satu filem terbaik kerana jlan cerrita dan mesejnya dan salah seorang juri berpendapat cerita ini "was beautifully played it was a shame cause not many people appreciate it"

Friday, December 2, 2011

book review: go ask alice

go ask Alice dikatakan adalah sebuah diari sebenar milik seorang remaja 15 tahun yang mengalami masalah ketagihan dadah. buku ini diterbitkan pada tahun 1970 di bawah nama penulis anonymous.
one of the best coming of age book i've ever read. tapi malangnya terdapat banyak kesilapan fakta dalam diari, mungkin kesan kerada edit atau tambahan yang dilakukan oleh pihak penerbitan.

novel ini adalah dalam bentuk diary entries yang ditulis oleh remaja ini mengenai perjalanan hidupnya. pada permulaan diari ini ia sama seperti kebanyakan diari remaja perempuan yang lain; mengenai kecantikan, sosial , cinta dan persahabatan tapi kita dapat lihat entry penulis ini menjadi semakin matang. dia menceritakan banyak perkara yang dilalui sebagai remaja dan juga seorang penagih dadah dan begaiman dia berusaha melawan ketagihannya serta bagaimana penerimaan keluarga terhadap dirinya.
walaubagaimanapun, bagi saya penamat novel ini agak tak kena kerana dalam entry-entry terakhirnya, penulis menyatakan bahawa keadaan telah bertambah menjadi baik namun penulis ditemui mati oleh keluarganya tiga minggu selepas ia menyatakan niat untuk tidak lagi menyimpan sebarang diari. sebab kematian tidak diketahui.

go ask alice adalah sebuah novel kontroversi yang agak mencabar. terdapat beberapa trivia yang saya jumpa mase google search novel ni.
1. mana penulis diary adalaha carla
2. alice adalah suatu derivation, bukannya nama penulis diari. penulis hanya bertemu alice di jalanan semasa ia menagih dadah.
3.walaupun pada permulaan penerbitan novel ini didakwa memang diari sebenar milik seorang remaja 15 tahun yang menagih dadah namun pihak kerajaan america menenaraikan beatrice sparks sebagai penulisnya.  beliau merupakan seorang pakar psikologi dan mendakwa diari ini adalah milik salah seorang pesakitnya. beliau juga menulis semula beberapa novel lain hasil dari diari pesakitnya seperti jay's journal.
4. 1973, sebuah film menganai buku ini diterbitkan.

bagi saya novel ini dimanakan go ask alice kerana banyak entry dalan diari ini menceritakaan perasaan penulis semasa menggunakan dadah. malah dia ada mengatakan : i felt like alice in wonderland. maybe lewis g. caroll was on drug too. bagi saya alice merujuk kepada alice dalam cerita alice in wonderland yang mengalami keadaan menakjubkan yg pada hakikatnya adalah mimpinya sahaja.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

movies reviews

sepanjang cuti ni banyak da movie yg aku tngok, so maybe post kali ni x focus pada 1 movie ajer cam aku slalu wat. ok, here i go,

1. the son of rambow
British film. a story with 90s setting. honestly, to me the idea is fresh and the theme is somewhat deep, even if it a story for preteens. fun, quirky and a little bit of sadness. composing a little bit of family, friends and trust theme. i just gonna say i like it, it'is good for  the whole family.

2. diary of a wimpy kid & diary of a wimpy kid 2: rodrick rules.
light and hilarious. a little peek on the life of a wimpy kid. no, in here you'll never found a superhero who win at the end of the day, just a boy being a boy. middle school can be though, especially if you are a wimpy kid.
diary of a wimpy kid focuses on greg heffley and all his attempt in order to become popular. unfortunately, all his selfish plans backfired resulting in a very hilarious outcome. at the end, he made it in the school yearbook centerfold as 'most cutest friends' with his best friend rowley
meanwhile, dairy of a wimpy kid 2: rodrick rules focus on the haywire relationship between greg and his brother, rodrick. it is a typical sibling rivalry with usually resulting in greg becoming the victim. however, in order to keep a secret, they started to hang out together and began to get to know each other. in someways i think it is true that we need to get to know everyone better bcoz even if we live in the same house for all of our life, it need a little heart to heart talk to know each other.

3. seeker
based on the book series by susan cooper. in my opinion, the film does little fair to the book because i believe whatever it is, the story (in the book) was surely entertaining. it also had a little bit of harry potter in it, but only, susan cooper had publisshed her book years before j.k. rowling got the idea for harry potter. a good story if you never read the book. sadly, i was expecting something more out of the film. well, i gotta get the book series someday.

4. paranormal activity 1, 2, and 3.
mind blowing. paranormal activity 1 is the best.
these stories centered on two sisters katie and kristi and the mysterious entity that had haunted them since they were little.
paranormal activity 1 is in a way entertaining and different from any other american ghost stories. however, i watched the original version, so it kinda didn't make sense when i watched the PA2 and PA3.
in each movies, the reason for the appearance of the entity was slightly varied but it can be on the same conclusion, sins of the mothers fall on the daughters, something like that.

5. a walk to remember
a tearjerker, especially if you read the book. which i had. though the movies make it seem light and the character Jamie was more fun and outgoing and landon had different problem but it was still pretty much the same. i cried when i read the novel but not when i watched the movie. okay, maybe a little, just because i understand what the characters are feeling.

6. angus, thongs and perfect snogging.
another british film. this time focuses on a girl as she fought for love. or in reality fighting her way in getting the boy she crushed on to notice her. it was fun and a bit of romantic comedy in it. and it is also based on a book. nothing much i can say about it bcoz for me it was kind of cliche. if you got what i mean.

7. the haunting of sorority row.
american horror film minus the gore. i believe we can creep people out without needing to waste pails of fake blood and unnecessary make up. in this film, we follow samantha willow as she encounters lots of mysterious incidents which lead to the disappearance of a fellow pledge from last year, jena thorne. one after one the pledge sisters die leaving to one question, what really happened to jena thorne?    entertaining and spooky, i went against all of the cliche american sorority horror film, i mean there are not even a peek of nakedness like they usually dished out in a horror story involving young girls. my applaud the the director for the fresh take of american horror film.

so this is the movies that i watched and oh please, the reviews are all mine, no copyright from anywhere. i write basically on what i feel on each films.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

1 desember 2011

skang da 1  desember da. diari hidup bosan aku ni x brisi ape2 yg menarik lagi.
ader lg sebulan untuk aku jayakan semua plan aku sepanjang tahun ni.
 yg paling susah: habiskan novel ebook twilight. that book really make me want to go the popular bookstore and grab like 10 other better book that that trash. tp aku kena gak hadapai cabaran.
azam 2012: beli buku banyak2 (ok x azam 2)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

book review: twilight 01

page 100 (ebook)

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of
him — and I didn't know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was
unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. Bella Swann
this is is mental or what?! two thirds of her observation stated that edward is dangeraous and yet she still go for the tiny one part that any girl will, considering how hot edward is. face it, everyone will loves edward if they didn't know who  what he really is.
i've read to page 119 and i got to say bella swann is the most unrealistic character. she technically obsessed with the boy. meyer really need to develop her character better.
but still, there's still three and an half books left to judge. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

wordless wednesday: ten years today...

the books legacy started on:   June 1997
movies madness started on: November 2001

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

blogs that i frequenting

so this are the list of blogs, (actually, they are on the same network, or whatever you call it) that i love and must visit, like everyday. behold.... 
yang ni kalo aku satakat nak gelakkan org n kebodohan/ kecerdikan dorang. depend on how you view it.
yg ni nkalo aku nk cari something yg relate w/ my life or not. depend. but one good source of laugh.
this is like my fevret, like ever. coz they got cats and you know what is the awesomest animals? CATS!!!!!!!!!!  nyau, nyau >o_o<

ni tiga yg major. kt bawah blog ni ade lagi links blogs yang lain yg mmg aku akan bukak hari2. senag cakap pe yang aku suke adelah gambar, ayat bnyk2 ni tak main ler... ^______^ peace. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

harry potter vs twilight???

ble ckp sal movie/novel pe yg jd fevret aku harry potter of course. disebabkan aku slalu hanging out kat site2 harry potter aku telah biase dgn phrase "harry potter vs twilight". so otak aku pun agaknya telah di brainwashed untuk tidak menyukai twilight. aku mmg pernah tngok 2 movie pertama die dan berbeza dng harry potter (i've read all the 7 novels, both in bm and bi) aku lnsung x pernah bace novel twilight. not once, period.

jadi agak tidak adil untuk aku kater harry potter lagi baik dr twilight (it is, no doubt about that) jd aku telah mendownload keempat-empat siri twilight untuk dibaca mase cuti nanti. 

korang maybe kater zaman harry potter da abih dengna berakhirnya movienya tapi badi kipas-susah-mati cam aku, well, susah mati la minat aku pd HP, aku akan jadikan HP ni legasi untuk keturunan aku hahaha
but my words still stand, HARRY POTTER IS BETTER THAT TWILIGHT!.
beberapa pic/ argument/facts yg nebubjukkan HP lg baik dr Twilight:

still true

that so true

heroin twilight , whatshername sering dilihat dngn pokerface/emoface/ expresionless dan menjadi bahan jenaka internet seluruh dunia dan sering dibandingkan dengan emm watson <3 


tp untuk tidak menjadi berat sebelah aku pun taip la 'twilight is better that HP' tp xde pape yang keluar yg menyebelahi twilight. so, Hp is still the best!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

a walk to remember

the latest novel i read and i cried.
i rarely read love stories but this one really moved my emotion. it sort of like wrenched my heart. the ending both happy and sad is really what i really looked up in a novel

i couldn't say much, all i could say, the is the best love story i have ever read, yat.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

ragam manusia

banyak udang, banyak garam,
banyak orang, banyak ragam.

pepatah melayu yg 1 ni mmg praktikal kan? bnyak tol ragam manusia skarang ni sampai aku pun jadi keliru. ni bukan takat perangai baik jahat jer ni, mcm2 kerenah. kalo setiap perangai tu dijadikan kisah drama melayu, mmg x abih. 

ragam-ragam manusia ni kalo x melibatkan orang lain, xpelah, tp kalo orang kiri kanan depan blakang terlibat, pe cer? perlu ke nak mencanang kelebihan diri, budi kite pada orang, peri pentingnya diri kite ni. perlu ke nak membuat musuh, mencari salah orang, mengaib dan mengata? perlu ke kita menabur budi atas niat  supaya sang penerima membalasnya. manakah LILLAHITAALA?

aku pun dalam dilema ragam manusia. perangai2 yang mengejutkan aku, menyedarkan aku dari dunia aku. dunia yang  hitam putih. aku lupa bahawa terdapat kelabu di setiap sudut. dan sekarang aku nampak.
pape pun, aku akan ttp jadi aku. aku bukan kaki bermuka-muka or talam dua muka or anything. 

i am me, i stay on the sideline and i watched and i try to understand as i am trying to understand me right now.

Sunday, October 2, 2011


smile on the front, smirk on behind,

you said untruthful words,
laced with lies and deception,
making people believe you, adore you,
you are willing to harm them, let them down,
so that you can get your way,
you're pathetic, 
wake friends against one another,

now when i look back, i had always been careful when choosing my friends. i have not many friends but they are enough because i can trust them and they are supportive. yet, in my life i met a lot of people, with a lot of attitude. i keep my head down, away from any confrontations. keep myself away from any problems. i tried my best to be free of life drama. i describe my self as a pacifist. i don't want any life drama.
but there are somethings that are my limits. those things that i hate it when people do it to me. and to me, it was a fair warn for them to know that i am not afraid to do exactly what they did. i believe what goes around will come around, what you did to other, will come back to you.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

afterschool: mind blowing?

so i've watched the movie afterschool and all i can say it was really confusing, in a good way.

the main character are pretty much like me, i mean i  enjoy videos too. and in a way i could understand his character but believe me when i say, you gotta be robert to understand the story.

the camera angles were all messed up, in a way so that we can only think in robert's point of view. no other way around. at one point, i believe the screen shots were from robert's camera  which it isn't.

the plot were a bit slow and bored and not lots of conversation happened, only actions. but the actions told a lots of things, especially about the students of the bryton's academy. this slow plot at one time almost had me to push the stop button, but because i know the ending i was very tempted to see it, and the result are not dissapointing.

this story tell the different angle of american highschool,  to me, the real side. the one that they are hiding. no cheesy romantic scene, no stupid fashion style or in other way no disney high school shit.

it's safe to say i like it :p

Monday, September 26, 2011

filem indie?!?!?

filem indie?
An independent film, or indie film, is a film production resulting in a feature film that is produced mostly outside of major film studios. The term also refers to art films which differ noticeably from most mass marketed films.[citation needed] In addition to being produced by independent production companies, independent films are often produced and/or distributed by subsidiaries of major studios.[citation needed] In order to be considered independent, less than half of a film's financing should come from a major studio.[citation needed] Independent films are sometimes distinguishable by their content and style and the way in which the filmmakers' personal artistic vision is realized.[citation needed] Usually, but not always, independent films are made with considerably lower film budgets than major studio films.[1] Generally, the marketing of independent films is characterized by limited release designed to build word-of-mouth or to reach small specialty audiences (

aku suke tngk filem tp coz aku ni choosy sangat, jrg2 tngok filem. tp bile cakap sal filem indie, tak kire la tempatan or international, aku tabik la.
skarang da bnyk filem indie, or art filem, cuma payah nak cari jer. kalo anda bioasa blog walking or online surfing kat blog2 underground mungkin akan jumpa la.
beberapa yang aku jumpa agak menarik gak. cam afterschool, toe to toe, fish tank (u.k) dan beberapa lagi. cuma payah nak dapatkan dvd dier kat malaysia ni so kne pepandai la ek kalo nk tngok ;p

Sunday, September 4, 2011

the pierces-lyrics

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is dead…

Why do you smile
Like you have told a secret
Now you're telling lies
Cause you're the one to keep it
But no one keeps a secret
No one keeps a secret
Why when we do our darkest deeds
Do we tell?
They burn in our brains
Become a living hell
Cause everyone tells
Everyone tells…

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is dead…

Look into my eyes
Now you're getting sleepy
Are you hypnotized
By secrets that you're keeping?
I know what you're keeping
I know what you're keeping

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is dead…

Yes, Katherine.
I have something I want to tell you, but
you have to promise to never tell anyone.
I promise
Do you swear on your life?
I swear on my life

[end spoken]

You swore you'd never tell…
You swore you'd never tell…

You swore you'd never tell…
You swore you'd never tell…

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is dead…
(chorus x 3)

Yes two can keep a secret
If one of us is…. Dead

aku suke lirik ni. maksud dia agak mendalam gak lah. ia buat  aku terfikir, mmg biler kiter ader rahsia, kiter akan rase 'gatal' sngt nak bitau org, especially kwn baek or bf/gf kiter. tp bile dah bitau, kiter risau lak takut2 dier kasi pecah rahsia. after all secret is a very delicate thing, you can break it with a whisper.

two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. 
maknanya walaupun ader dua orang yang tau rahsia tu, tapi rahsia tu cume blh selamat kalo yang lg 1 tu mati. creepy, huh?! tapi ader betulnya. rahsia x patut diberitahu, tapi kiter nak gak btau, akibatnya kiter mula x senang duduk coz takut kalo kwn kiter tu kasi pecah rahsia kiter. bahase diaer agak kasar la coz cakap pasal mati, i.e murder. n video dier pun sal dier murder kwn dier coz takut kwn dier pecah rahsia. 

Monday, August 15, 2011


tersesat dan tersangkut,
adakah berbaloi usaha kita?

x mungkin jadi milikku,
melihat dari jauh,
doakan dia bahagia,

Sunday, August 7, 2011

kurosaki in memories

in sadness i'd like to share that my kitty, Kurosaki is now forever gone. it was believed to be an infection on a wound at his feet. this post is dedicated to him...

Monday, August 1, 2011

book review: diary of a wimpy kid- the ugly truth

mse jln2 kt mega mall aritu, g masuk popular jap, cari buku. jumpa la buku ni, title dier cam kt atas tu la.
aku cuma nak cakap, mner buku ni maser aku umur 13-14 thun dulu???
citer dier mmg best. bg aku bacaan dier light jer. dan yang menarik, ia ditulis dalam bentuk jurnal. watak utama greg, menulis jurnal ni bagi menceritakan pengalaman harian dier. n plus pointnya adalah ilustrasi menarik yang ada dalam buku ni. total recommendation pada yang sedang merempuh zaman remaja dan juga mereka yang ingin berurusan dengan remaja. 

n dier juga da ader movee, so nnt nak cari movee dier la.

*now reading dirty little liars

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

of the journey and destination

often, when i was on a bus,
i wish i'll never reach the destination,
because what i saw during the journey is far more satisfying

Saturday, July 9, 2011


i love my friends,
i really do,
but when they're being secretive,
i can;t help but doubting,
what did i do wrong?
was is there something that i did?
or it is something i say?
did i hurt you,
or did i didn't reach to your expectation?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

rumah sewa

hari ni dah 7 hb 7 2011, maknenya da hmpir sebulan aku duduk kat rumah sewa.
blaja idup sendiri. slama ni idup sendiri pun duk kat hostel. i had been living in hostel ever since i was a little less thirteen.
wat mase ni housemate okay jer, harapnya selama-lamanya mcm 2. huhuhu, rumah  sewa ni pun penuh ngan binatang (baca: kucing) n baru2 ni add plak 2 ekor bunnies. hehehe, suka, suka, suka.
btw, klas sem ni pun mmg rancak dari biase. i mean bru awal sem pun sumer  (lecturer) da kelam kabut nk ganti kelas. dpt sorng lec ni mmg dedikasi giler (read: suke bagi kerja, bnyk dan sukar difahami). tp aku raser dier okay, kalo kiter ikut rentak dier which mean quite hard since we all ni sumer manje, all spoon fed and no homework kind of students (most of them la, me included)
till next time, xoxo

Thursday, June 30, 2011

universal laws

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Friday, June 24, 2011

wrong turn

petang tadi g jalan-jalan pantai ngan hausemate (azimah). nak jadi cerita, jalan nk ke pantai kami masuk ikut simpang kg tanjung, jalan2 sampai la kat pantai.
kami pun jalan la sepanjang pantai laksana sepasang kekasih (minus holding hands and whispering), pastu sampai la kat tempat sekumpulan manusia. motto kami, kalo ader org ader la jalan kuar. hehehe, so kami pun jalan la ikut jalan kampung tu. pusing kiri, pusing kanan tapi still x jumpe jalan besar. kami tak give up tape truskan gak, sampai la jumpe satu taman perumahan ni, kat situ jln lagi bersimpang- siur, kami follow jer maner-2 kereta or motor samapai la akhirnya kami nampak jalan besar. nak tau jalan besar tu katne??? kat kedai kuning, maknanya, mase kami lalu jalan kampung tu kami da jalan lagi jauh daripada rumah kami sendiri. menapak la dari kedai kuning tu sampai la ke rumah.
and at that moment i swear i felt infinite

Thursday, June 23, 2011

the perks of being a wallflower- book review

semalam aku da abihkan novel 'the perks of being a wallflower'.
novel ni pasal charlie. walaupun novel ni ditulis dalam bentuk surat yang dihantar oleh charlie kepada seseorng yang tidak diketahui, namun dalam suratnya die menceritakan apa yang dilaluinya.
charlie adalah freshman sekolah tinggi. dia dikira sebagai pelajar istimewa tapi tak pernah beritahu (dlm suratnya) apa masalah dier. dalam novel ni, charlie menceritakan kehidupannya seperti berkawan, masalah keluarga dan juga orang yang disukainya dan jugab teman wanitanya.
trigger untuk surat charlie ni adalah kematian ( bunuh diri) kawan baik die Michael dobson.
bagi aku, novel ni menceritakan realiti kehidupan remaja. dalam cerita ni, charlie minum arak, cuba dadah, sex and all. surat charlie ni bentuknya bagi aku macam jurnal yang ditulis pasal kehidupan sehari-hari dier.
quotes yang paling aku suka adalah : "and at that moment, i swear we were infinite"

ni lah bukunya, tapi aku bace kat dalam lappy jer. kalo jumpe nk beli lah

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

blank pages

sat over coffee,
a book on her lap,
and i just stood there,
trying to figure out anything to say,
coz she is,
like blank pages,
nothing to read upon,
and i bear no right to write her,
not even the slightest,
so i just stood there,
hoping she'll leave a hint,
a droplet of ink of her life,
so that i'll know,
how to speak,

this poem is dedicated to my once best friend. i still failed to figure her out.
i hope she is happy with her choices.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

my first fanfiction

this is my first fanfic i ever wrote.
i'm a total sucker for dramione

Wish and promise

Hermione had just finished a book. She shifted from her seat, caused the cat in her laps to groan its disapproval. Grinning, she pushed the cat on her side as she got up and walked towards the kitchen counter. She put a kettle on the stove, preparing to make some tea for herself. She cut out a slice of roasted chicken and put it in a plate. Smelling it, the cat went to her heels, rubbing its face on her legs.
“There, there. You want some too?” she asked the cat. She cut out another slice and put in on the cat’s plate. The cat purred towards her and began savoring its dinner. Hermione smiled and began making a pot of tea. She sat on the dining table and pulled the plate of roasted chicken close to her. They both eat their dinner in silence.

It has been five years since the battle. Five silence years, Hermione would have described it. She still however talked to Harry and the Weasleys. The always wrote to each other but other than that, there is no more in her life. She lives in an apartment in an urban muggle town, together with her white cat. She works at a library. A muggle library. Many have questioned her choice of work. True, with her academic portfolio, she could always land a better job in the ministry. But she refused her many offers, telling ones close to her that she needed sometimes just for herself. And conveniently enough, they all understand.
Today is Tuesday, her day off. She was lying on her couch, reading a light novel. Her white cat also lounged lazily at her feet. Suddenly, she heard a knock. She was not expecting anyone but still she hurried to the door.
She swung the door open. “Oh, it’s you. Please, come in,” she gestured allowed her guests inside. They were two boys and a girl. All wearing their summer clothes and looked like they had just running here. She smiled broadly at them.
 “Sorry to bother you, Hermione. We know you just have a day off in a week but we can resist crashing to your house,” Richard said. He stood in the middle between his two friends. On her left, stand a rather short, skinny boy. She wore a cap, making his dark brown hair hidden. On Richard’s right, stood a girl at about 14. She tied her dirty blond hair with ribbon, with few strands hang loosely at her ears. Her deep blue eyes stare at her with a cheeky grin.
“It’s okay. I was bored after all. Wait here, I go make some tea,” she said. She hurried to the kitchen and placed a kettle on the stove.
“Here you go,” she said, placing the cups of tea on the table. They all took a sip.
“So, do you go to the masquerade ball?” ask Bianca.
Hermione smiled, “I’d love to. But no one asked me and I have no one to ask either,”  she answered playfully. Honestly, she has no intentions to go.
“You can go with me,” Richard chimed in hastily. Hermione laughed, showed her white sparkly teeth, thanks to her parents.
“Do you really want to see those unbearable girlfriends of yours attacked me, or worse, you. The charming Richard Rose goes to a masquerade ball with a librarian,” Richard laughed. He is indeed very handsome. Well according to most girls. He too, like Bianca has a dirty blonde hair. Which is no surprise as he is her brother.
“No one will see, that’s the point of the mask,” he said. Hermione laughed and looked at the other boy. “So, Jeremy. Who’d do you asked to the ball?” Jeremy seemed flustered. Richard grinned and punched the boy on the shoulder.
“Ouch!,” Jeremy exclaimed. He, unlike his two cheeky friends, is rather a quite boy. But he had the most mesmerizing eyes. His green eyes look like as if they were smiling, even when he is not. Hermione guessed the reason he is not as popular as Richard is because he studied in a boarding school far away from this town.
Bianca laughed and said, “We planned to go together, unlike someone; we are no so popular, so going together is a safest bet,”
Richard smiled broadly. “I told him to ask that Powell girl but…,”
 “No, no. not her. Never,” Jeremy said, “she’s a…”
“Witch!” Bianca continued. Hermione twitched a little at her word. She was rather hurt at her remark but she did not blame her. They all are muggles after all.
“I hate her. She’s so mean. Did you hear what she did to Lizzie?” Bianca continued, not realizing the smile that had wiped off Hermione’s face.
“Lizzie? Which Lizzie?” Richard asked, looked at Bianca with interest. She fell silent.
“Lizzie mcAdams. She pushed her inside the pool even though she knew she can’t swim and had asthma. The poor girl is in hospital now and that mean girl swore Lizzie slipped into the pool,” Jeremy said while stroking Hermione’s white cat. The cat purred.
“That’ nasty,” Hermione’s exclaimed.
“Yeah, I know.  What nastier is that she got her father to pay the authority to hush it off,” Bianca said.
 “Having a millionaire daddy sure help a lot, eh,” Richard said.
“Well I guess so,” Hermione said.
 “You know, I knew someone like that in my schooling years. Such a spoiled, pompous, prat. We fought a lot,” Hermione suddenly added.
“What do you fighting about?” Jeremy suddenly sound interested.
“Well, mostly about his inheritance and mine,” Hermione said absently.
“Another rich kid who doesn’t believe you can do better that him?” Richard concluded. Hermione felt sharp daggers stabbing her heart. Those words are just so true.
“Yeah, something like that,” she said.
She turned around and took a look at Jeremy. Her white cat was still in his laps.
“I wonder why he liked you so much. Do you smell like catnip?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I guess he likes me,” Jeremy answered, holding the cat to his chest.
“Say, Hermione. You said you have just got a hold of new books. Can we see it,” Richard said.
“Well, yeah. Come this way” she gestured. Both Bianca and Richard followed her but Jeremy paid no attention.
“Aren’t you come along, Jer?” Hermione asked. Jeremy shook his head.
“I feel a bit tired. Beside whatever you got there, I’m sure these two will tell me all about it, right, guys?” Jeremy said. They all nodded and went ahead to Hermione’s reading room. Jeremy stretched his hands above his head with a big yawn. He looked down and saw the cat.  He was getting very sleepy right now that he dreamily heard the cat talked.
“Just go on to sleep. Because I need to show you something. Something so important and I hope you could help me,” Jeremy getting more and more sleepy and soon he fall asleep.

The corridor of the castle is so dark and cold. Draco was sitting on one of the bench at the corridor. Obviously, he was waiting for someone. He heard a faint footstep. Little by little the sound grew louder and stopped beside him. “Hey,” said the owner of the footsteps. Draco did not look up. Instead, he reached for her hands.
 “What has taken you so long?” he asked. The girl sat next to him. Brushing her bushy brown hair to the side, she said, “Ron asked me to help him with his essay,”
“By helping you meant finishing it, right?” the girl nodded. Her brown eyes locked with Draco’s grey ones.
“You’re spoiling him,” Draco said.
“I know but I can’t turn him away. Can I?” she asked. Draco grinned.
“Hermione, you’re too naive” he muttered.
“I know,”
“That’s why I love you,” he said taking her arm. She just smiled. He stared into her brown eyes and soon their lips met. The kiss was passionate, if not more. And every time they meet the kiss grew more and more passionate.
They have been like this for more than three months. Secretly meeting each other. He always wanted to stand on the table in the dining hall, telling everyone that he, Draco Malfoy is Hermione Granger’s boyfriend. But he can’t. There’s so much to deal. Especially with the task the Dark Lord had assigned him. Deep down, he knew he will never be able to complete the task. But he doesn’t care for all he know, he wanted to be with Hermione. Just to feel her warmth next to him. It’s her, only her that can make him whole. Even though the feeling is just for a while.
“It’s late. I should be going now,” Hermione stood up. Draco looked at her. She smiled.
“How about we meet by the lake tomorrow?”  She asked. Draco frowned but nodded.
“Okay,” he answered, letting go of her hands. She smiled, turned and started walked away. He was still there, thinking hard. Sometimes, a little part of him was afraid. “What if Hermione does not love you? What if she just tries to figure out your task?” Part of his mind asked. Draco shook his head. Shook the thought away from his head. She will never know. Potter can tell any theory he had but she won’t believe him. Not on this one. He grinned.
But the thought won’t just surrender.” She had known potter since the first day she’s here. Even if she believes you she’s going to choose side with Potter. She belongs to the light side like you are on the dark side. Worse, you had a task that if she ever find out, she will hate you with every pieces of her being.”
“I won’t tell her. She will never know,” Draco muttered, walking away.
After breakfast the next day, he rushed towards the library. If he is lucky, he could find her there. Luckily enough, he saw her. She sat on one of the tables practically hidden. Her face was buried in a book, her parchment laid in front of her with few lines of words was written on it.
“Hey,” he said from behind her shoulder. She jumped slightly and slapped his left arm. He pulled the arm quickly, as if he just received electric shock. Hermione looked at him, slightly puzzled.
“Oh, no,” he thought. He pulled the chair next to her. Hermione’s eyes lay transfixed on his face. He grinned. He knew how foolish that grin looked like. Hermione shot him a questioning look. He cleared his throat.
“I didn’t see you during breakfast,” he said.
“I don’t feel hungry. Besides, I still had a lot to do with Snape’s essay,” Draco looked at her in disbelief. Hermione continued her reading.
“But you can’t just skipped breakfast,” he said. Hermione did not reply. Suddenly, he began to gather all her stuff. Startled, Hermione tried to stop him.
“Draco, why…?,” he pulled her left hand while his left hand holding her stuff.
“I don’t care how important is the essay, but you must eat,” he stated, dragging her out of the library.
“But I’m not hungry,” Hermione protested, a sly smile tugging on her lips
“I don’t care. You must eat. Even I have to drag you all the way to the kitchen to make you eat,” Draco said. Not realizing the smile on Hermione’s lips. He pulled her all the way to a dark corner before Hermione suddenly pulled her arm, causing him to jerk backwards. Before he could say anything, Hermione planted a deep kiss on his lips. Not wanting to lose it, he pushed Hermione on the wall, kissing her while his hands were tangled in her hair. She loved it, because her left hand hold on to his neck whiles her right hand on the shoulder.
“Now I’m hungry,” Hermione said. Pushed him aside and started walking towards the kitchen. Draco followed suit. He smiled broadly. 
That night, Draco walked towards the lake. He saw a figure. No need to guess who that was, her bushy hair would have done the job.
“Hey,” he said. Hermione looked at him and smiled.
“Come, sit here,” she patted the ground next to her. Draco sat next to her. He smelled her hair, it smelled like coconut. He heard Hermione sighed.
“Why?” Draco asked. His eyes glued to Hermione’s face.
“You know, there will be meteor shower tonight. So I wanted to see it. Of course I can see it from the dorm but I wanted to see it in the open, with you,” she said, looking at the sky. Draco nodded and he too looked at the sky.
“It’s a lovely night, tonight,” he said. Hermione just nodded. No words escaped their lips.
“Look!” Hermione half-shouted exclaimed. Her hand pointed towards the sky.
The first meteor flew above their heads. He saw Hermione crossed her fingers together and closed her eyed. Draco smiled at her childish behavior.
“So, what do you wished for?” he asked. Hermione looked at her. The meteor showers above their head make Hermione looked much more beautiful and radiance. Her brown eyes appear more golden. She smiled.
“I can’t tell you,” she teased. Draco held her arms, pulling her towards him.
“Why?” he asked huskily.
Hermione smiled and said “if I told you now, it maybe won’t come true,” Draco smirked. Before she could say anything, he pressed his lips on her lips. Enjoying the lingering taste of something sweet in her mouth. He wished that time could froze at this moment. The moment he had Hermione in his arms.

Draco was sitting alone in the dungeon. Snape had given him the detention. Something he never imagined. He sighed. Snape had gone to meet professor Dumbledore and from the look of it he won’t be back anytime soon. Suddenly, he felt someone touched his shoulder. He turned around, wishing to curse whoever that had the nerve to disturb him. There she is, standing and grinning in front of him.
“I guess, no one ever figures out about us,” she smiled while said that. Draco gave her a puzzled look.
“Well, Draco Malfoy. I was ordered by your beloved teacher, Snape to supervise you tonight while you are doing your detention. He can’t be with you because he had a meeting with Dumbledore,” she explained. Draco took a moment to digest the information before chuckled and took Hermione by the waist. He planted a kiss on her lips.
“That’s so sweet. But you know you must prepare the materials for tomorrow potion. We are making some love potion. And you need to prepare the materials. 25 sets of it,” she said pushing him away.
“I thought I supposed to do lines,” he said. She grinned.
“Lines are for grade school. Now, go on. Do it,” she ordered.
“Well I suppose you can help me?” he asked. She shook her head.
“No, this is your duty. You must do it on your own,”
“Yeah, right,” he said with a smirk.
Half an hour later, it was Hermione who rummaging through Snape’s multiple drawers looking for the materials that was listed in the textbook. Draco, on the other hand was eating the sandwich that she brought with her.
“How do you know I was hungry?” he asked. She raised her head and looking tenderly at him.
“I didn’t see you during dinner, so go figure,” she answered.
“Thanks for the sandwich by the way,” he said. Hermione just fell silent. Her hand had just stopped moving. She looked like she was thinking of something.
“Draco?” Draco looked at her. She bit her lips. He loves it when she did that. She looked so cute and innocent.
“Which side are you now?” she asked. He felt like stabbed by her question.
“Why would you ask?”
“I just want to know. You know, with your dad in Azkaban and all these uncertainty of when will Voldermort start the attack. I wonder…,” she did not finish her sentence for he had barked at her.
“I am well aware of our condition now. But I don’t wish to talk about side because I know better which one I should sided. I guess you have helped enough, you can leave now, I will continue on my own,”
“but, draco…”
“LEAVE!” he heard himself screaming. Hermione looked startled, tears in her eyes. She stood up, picking her books and hurried out of the door. He swore he heard she sobbed but he was too engulfed with anger to take any notice, let alone to comfort her. Did Potter have find out anything? Did Potter manage to get into her brain? How can he help her to understand? He honestly doesn’t want to take side or sided with the dark but he was bounded to this job. It is the only way to prove to the dark lord that he is, the malfoys are still worth it. He knew, this is the way the Dark Lord punishing his father for his fault. The only way to save his father and probably himself.  He punched the wall next to him. How he wanted to tell her everything. His fear, his agony. How he wanted her to hold him tightly and tell him that it is alright. That he didn’t have to bother. But he can’t. It’s too late now.

So the days passed. They never spoke to each other again. He never made an effort to talk to her. Once in a while he caught her eyes looking at him but she quickly looked away. He also did the same. Sometimes, he took a longing look at her. To feel her warmth next to him. He could do anything to be with her right now.
Two months later, he had, however managed to shove his feeling aside. He had a task. And he had promised his father he will fulfill this task. His masterplan had worked well so far. All he needs to do now is look for Dumbledore and he know where he is. He ran through the corridor, only to bump to her.
“Draco,’ she hissed, pushing him into one of the empty classroom and locked the door. He was amazed at how fast she got him cornered.
“ Draco,” she said. Her eyes fixed on him. “What are you doing out here,”
“What are you doing out here too,” he asked., tried to dodge her question. Hermione’s eyes bulged. As if some realization struck her.
“No, no. you can do that. Whatever you are doing, please just stop. Draco listen to me, you must stop. It’s not worth it,” she said, well screamed actually. She looked bewildered. Draco looked at her. This is the words that he wanted to hear all this time.
“Sorry, Hermione. But I can’t back out now,” he said icily. How he wanted to kick himself for saying that. How he actually wanted to hold on to her, for her to tell him it’s okay not to do it.
“But, Draco, it’s not worth it. Whatever you are doing. It’s not worth it,” he sighed. She knew. She knew it all along.
“I have to do this Hermione. This is my chance. My only chance. You can hate me as much as you can, but you can never stop me. It’s too late to back out now,” he said, walking towards the door. But Hermione already clung to his hand, pulling him towards her.
“Don’t stop me Granger!” he said shaking his hand off the grip. Hermione’s hands fall slowly on her side. She was looking at the floor now. He sure she was crying.
“Do you want to know what I wished for that night? That night under the meteor showers,” she said, still looking at the floor.
“Don’t tell me, it might not…”
“I will tell you! This one thing I will tell you. Not to bend your heart cause I know you won’t change your mind. I will tell you, so you know that there are still hopes,” Draco fell silent. Hermione raised her head. Tears staining her porcelain cheek. But there’s something in her eyes. Something different from sadness, and it hurts him to see it.
“I wished that you will always be with me. That you will never leave my side. I hoped the best for you and us. That no matter where you are, you will always remember me,” she said walking towards the door. She turned around to give him a final look, wiped her tears and walked away.
Draco stood there. Tried to understand her words. Then, he shook his head, rushed out of the door and running not towards her but to the other direction, before completely engulfed by the darkness. And she never saw him ever again after that night.
Three years later
“Well, this is it,” Hermione said. She stood proudly in front of the building. A white cat at her feet.  Her luggage at the other side of her.
“This will be our home,” she said holding the cat in her arms. The cat purred and licked her cheek. She smiled and stroked the cat’s head.
“We will always be together,” she said holding the cat to her chest.

The war had ended. It had been a year since he last saw her. Draco sat under the tree. Dark lord was defeated. The-Boy-Who-Lived won. He can hear faint noise of celebration from the castle. But he didn’t feel any happiness. Yes, a burden had been lifted off his shoulder when he saw the Dark Lord fell. But there is a hole inside his heart. A hole that needed to be mended. He got up, slowly walked towards the castle. He must find her. He must make sure she survived the war. He had to make sure, even if he never able to see her again after this, that she is still alive and well.
He walked towards the great hall. Everybody was busy enjoying themselves. No one noticed him. Well, he wished not to be noticed. He searched frantically for her. Every side. He even took a look at the piles of bodies of those who had fall. But she is nowhere to be found. Not wanting to give up, he kept on searching.  There, he saw her at the Gryffindor table. She had bruises on her face. And some blood to. Other than that, she looked well and alive. She was chatting happily with that Loony girl. He sighed his relief. Not wanted to interfere in this celebration, he walked out of the hall towards the Forbidden forest. He looked back.
“I promise Hermione, that I will never leave your side. That I always be with you. I will find the best for me, for us. I promise that I will always be by your side and I will never forget you,” he walked deeper in the forest. Slowly, he turned to a white cat. The same white cat that now staring at Jeremy sleepy face. A faint voice said, “Please, tell her that I’m looking for her forgiveness. Tell her that I will never leave her this time,”
Jeremy looked at the cat. He seemed puzzled. What weird dream he had. Not the fact about the wizarding world, he is a wizard himself. But the dream was entirely different. As if it was… real?
“There, you have wake up. We should be leaving now,” Bianca said, pulling his hand and helped him onto his feet.
“What’s wrong with you?  You look like a dumbass,” Richard laughed. Hermione also laughed. She held her white cat. The cat purred at Jeremy. Something in its grey eyes tell Jeremy that it was not a dream.

Jeremy walked to the punch table. All these dancing had made him thirsty. As he poured his drink, he felt something soft rubbing on his legs.
“What? How do you get here?” he asked, holding the white cat at his feet.
“There you are,” he heard a voice. The cat purred at Jeremy before leaping off him and running towards the park. Hermione barely reached Jeremy when the cat hid under some bushes.
“Oh, dear,” Hermione was panting at her words. She walked towards the bushes. Kneeling and tried to reach the cat. Jeremy walked towards her.
“Hermione,” he called, pulling something out of his pocket. Hermione looked at the young man before her.
“I have something I must tell you,” he said, brandishing his wand. Hermione gasped.
“You’re a wizard?” she asked. He nodded.
“But that’s not the thing I must tell you,” he sighed, put his wand back into his pocket and look at Hermione struggling to take her cat out of the bushes. Luckily, she was wearing  jeans and t-shirt. Obviously, she is not an attendee of the party.
“You know, it maybe wanted to go to the ball with you,” he said. Hermione chuckled. Jeremy stood behind her.
“He wanted you to forgive him. He wanted you to know that he will never leave you. He wanted to know that the wish you had under the meteor shower can come true,” Jeremy stated. Hermione freezed. She looked at Jeremy.
“Who is he?” she asked. Tears began to well up her eyes.
“I guess you know better,” Jeremy answered. Hermione stood up abruptly.
“Where is he. I want to see him. Tell me where is he?” she screamed. Jeremy twitched a little. He always has a faint heart. But this time he won’t let his weakness conquer him. He squared his shoulder.
“He is always by your side,” Jeremy began to composure himself. The white cat stood next to Hermione’s legs.
Hermione threw her hands in the air. “No he’s not. Tell me where is he,” she shouted.
Jeremy looked at her. “Answer me. Do you forgive him?  Do you wanted him to return to your side? Do you still believe on the wish?” Jeremy shot her with all the questions. Hermione’s knees felt weak. She fell to the ground.  Tears streaming down her face.
“I always forgive him. Why wouldn’t I? I always waited that someday he’d show up at the door and return to my side. I believe to the wish, not once I let it go,” Hermione sobbed. Her white cat licked her cheek, comforting her.
“Where is he?” Hermione looked up at Jeremy.
“He’s always with you,” he said, pointing at the white cat. Hermione looked puzzled. She held the cat to face her, its grey eyes reflected upon her brown ones. She smiled, putting the cat down.
“I don’t remember making any promise to a cat before,” she said, getting up to her feet.  “But I guess we can use some time alone,” she said, taking the cat and held it close to her chest and walked away to the apartment that they have shared for this past two years.

written by: wahidah abd manan