guilty pleasure

this has to stop,
this obsession of mine,
racking everything,
enjoying every bit of it,
spun fantasy and defying reality,
am i that lost,
 to hold on to something so superficial,

this guilty pleasure i indulge,
will soon burn me,
 but no matter how i tried,
i just could not stop,
for everything of it is madness,
like falling in under the rabbit hole,
now i know how Alice must feel,

i need help,
i thought i can control it,
but now it control me,
this obsession,
it aren't healthy,
and i am so afraid,
what if i got in too deep,
and i can't get out,

i need to stop,
leave it,
put it to rest,
lay a stone on it,
get on with my life,
try something else,
it can't be my drug anymore,